Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
