I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
