im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
