is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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