I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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