if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
