it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
