I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
