I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
