i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
