there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
