At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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