I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
