aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
