So drunk its hurt
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
