i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
