Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
