the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
