i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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