I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
