if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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