Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
