Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
