idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
