well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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