i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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