Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
