she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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