okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We are all done wearing pants today
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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