Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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