he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
