Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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