im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
