Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
