Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
