White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
