Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
