I love watching others lives come down to our level.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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