forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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