He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
