in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So many bounce houses so little time
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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