I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Hippo gnu deer
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
