Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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