how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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