I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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