Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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