Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
