Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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