Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
