Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
