i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
