ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
