no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
